Why do I make music, why do I play the piano…?
Music, depending on who you are talking to, can have many different definitions, meanings, or functions on a personal level. For some, it may be a passion, interest, hobby, or simply a pleasure. For others, it is a means of self-expression, an outlet for one’s creative energy, communication, survival, or therapy. And for others, it is a profession, a career, business, or a way of life. What is music to you? Would you still pursue music if you were told that you would never make a professional career out of it? Would you still play the piano if you knew you would never make a career as a concretized pianist? Why do you make music? Is music your means to secure positions and status in society? Or are you just in love with music?
For me, music is my passion and it is a guiding light in life. I say it is a guiding light because every time I have let music show me the path, it has brought me nothing but goodness and happiness—unforgettable experiences, precious memories, important lessons, priceless wisdom, invaluable truths, personal growth, friends, teachers, and a husband to name a few. With that being said, more than anything in the world, I have always loved listening to music, not just any music, but GOOD music. When it comes to piano playing, it is only in recent years that I have come to love it, especially alone in a quiet room getting lost in the music. However, more and more these days, when there is an opportunity, I find myself wanting to perform and share my music making with others because I believe in what my father always has said, “Music moves and inspires human souls. It also gives hopes and dreams to us.”
The only reward to expect from making music is music itself, but I must admit, I make music because it also gives me an absolute freedom. Speaking of freedom, when I was a child, I sometimes felt like I was becoming the very music that I was playing at the piano, disappearing with it into the air (if you know what I mean); and to me, this was the absolute most freedom that I could ever ask for. Now I must confess, until recently, I could not experience such freedom in my music making. I somehow lost this freedom, and replaced it with physical pain as well as uncontrollable and unreasonable fear, worries, and insecurity. It was utterly painful as well as pure frustration and suffering not knowing what to do with these negative manifestations or how to reclaim the sense of freedom. While studying for my Master’s degree, I often contemplated, “if I could just reclaim that feeling of freedom, and if I could make those who listen feel the same way I did—being united as one in this absolute freedom—I would have nothing else to ask for in this world!” After a long search and having tried so many different methods that failed me (or maybe I failed them), I found that Professor Kutrzeba’s method was the only salvation to my desperation. For me, everything he was saying made sense; at first, only conceptually through his website pianoeu.com, but the effectiveness of his method in my music making, especially in the way I began to think was immediate. I could not help but think, “If his ideas can help me this much already, I wonder how much I can learn from him if I could have a lesson with him. He might be able to help me reclaim that freedom I have lost…”
Eye opening to ear opening.
After having one lesson with him, I understood for the first time why people say books can’t teach you everything. It is one thing to read and comprehend the ideas but quite another to experience them. Reading Stefan’s ideas in pianoeu.com or his essay “Touch the Zone” have been an eye opening experience for me, but to actually experience it through his teaching was an absolute ear opening experience. I have participated in two International Piano Workshops in Rzeszow (2009/2010) so far, and I am convinced that Stefan’s method and his teaching can definitely make it possible for me to reclaim absolute freedom in playing. Why? Well, while it is impossible to summarize his enlightening lessons and teachings in only a few sentences (that is, maybe, why you should participate in the upcoming 2011 workshop and experience it yourself!) I will attempt to try and explain. It is because he never gets in the way between the music and me, but rather guides me toward the music, helping to direct my energy, soul, will, and being so that I can imagine, create, and listen with freedom. When I am tending to music in such a way, he leaves no room for me to be afraid, to be insecure, or to be worried because he demands that I give my whole being to the music and play not what he wants but what he knows the music demands.
Why I "came in"...?
I believe every pianist is entitled to have his/her own reason for playing the piano or making music, therefore, I sincerely support and welcome the ambition and dream of any pianist to build a professional career. I myself however have never had such ambition or desire, and I do not go to Stefan as a path to pursue music as a career. I travel half way across the world to Poland each year for 225 minutes with him because first, I find his understanding of music to be the most natural and honest; secondly, I always find myself one step closer to the music (i.e., freedom) after every lesson with him; thirdly, Stefan is not only very supportive but also very seriously takes my wish to learn and pursue music in life for no particular reasons or purposes other than the fact that I love music and want to learn about the art of piano playing; and lastly and most importantly, he is interested in doing GOOD music.
Are you interested in doing GOOD music?
Since my best interest in music is also doing good music, I take great pleasure in giving my time, my energy, and myself to music. Therefore, for me, music does not have to give me a career, it does not have to bring me money, it does not have to gain me fame, it does not have to etc. In my very personal view, I just believe that all these extra things that music might bring in life should be left to and decided by others. It’s like if your food is good, then people will come and eat your food, and if it is really good, then people might even pay to eat your food. If you are a good storyteller, people will enjoy reading your stories, and if people really love your stories, then they will ask you to print and publish your books. If you are a good singer, people will ask you to sing more, and if you are truly a great singer, people will surely pay you to sing just one more song for them. Of course, we see not so good restaurants getting rave review, really bad books on best seller lists, terrible singer cutting record label deals, and needless to say that we see the same symptoms propagating more and more in the area of piano performance as well as piano pedagogy, but that is all due to success in the art of business and politics, not art itself. While these seem wrongful and make us want to fight for fairness, I think that sometimes we simply have little control over such hypocrisy and politics in the world, and more importantly, we should not be concerned and distracted by dishonesty to the point of completely forgetting to tend to our arts and totally giving up on music. Therefore, I strongly believe that whatever the reasons or objectives that we may have for making music, we must keep our interests in the right mind and counteract such superficial/superfluous nonsense that interferes with the survival and conservation of genuine art by simply DOING GOOD MUSIC wherever and whenever we are making music.
“True freedom lies only in the creative process. The fisherman is free when he fishes according to his instinct. The sculptor is free when carving a face.”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
For me personally, the key to keeping my interest in the right place is humbleness. We may be brave and proud, confident and certain, bold and fearless in the presence of an audience, but I believe that we shall forever remain humble in the presence of good art, great minds, and marvelous music. Your humbleness and undivided attention and focus on music at the piano will be rewarded with joy in making good music and sense of freedom.
The reasons or objectives that you have for making music or playing the piano may be different from others. The path you have taken or will take with music in your life may not be the same as others, but if you are interested in doing good music and would like to learn the art of piano playing from the best, then we all have one thing in common. It is never too late or too early to make good music, and if you are ready or have been ready to do so, then why don’t you start now? I strongly suggest you to visit this website, pianoeu.com as well as read the essay “Touch the Zone” to familiarize yourself with his ideas and method, and then - maybe - even sign up for the next International Piano Workshop in Rzeszow, Poland in 2011 to experience the really instinctually refreshing teaching by yourself. You will find yourself in an extremely positive environment where all pianists are absolutely welcomed to make good music and share.